Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Meaning of Friendship

Well, I suppose you guys were expecting me to be posting from the other side of the world. Yet here I am, sitting in the same house, the same desk and enjoying a late night cigarette.

You see, though I can never call myself a true religious person, I do believe there are powers in the universe greater than us. Fate. Karma. Whatever you wish to call it. Things happen for a reason. Of course I will admit I did not enjoy finding out last minute with my bags packed at the airport..that my trip would not be a wise choice. I will not go into details, but because I have not finished certain procedures here in the USA, if I was to leave now, my chances of being able to re-enter would be difficult and slim. Therefore I cancelled my trip and I am given the opportunity to find work here and remain here. So in the end, I  am getting what I want. Though I eased my friends earlier when I said medical advances in Japan were relatively the same is the USA..this was a slight white lie. USA healthcare still dominates. Yet enough of that.

I want to give my thoughts on friendship. I am always wondering what makes a good friend. Over time I have slowly come to understand that friends come in all shapes and sizes but they all carry one special element: they are there for you.

True friendships are not disposable. No matter how much you may disagree sometimes, or no matter how much you fight, you cannot simply let go. Friends are not toys. They were not there to amuse you when you are alone or bored and to be later abandoned when you are feeling good about something or someone else. It is something I have learned as I have gained new friends and relationships. Just because I have connected with one person, does not mean I should disconnect with the friend that were there before who was always encouraging me. This especially holds true in relationships.

They say relationships come and go, but friends are forever. Even though I may think I have found happiness in some place, I could never forget my friends that held me up when I was alone, betrayed or felt abandoned. In fact I would love to share my happiness, instead of selfishly hoard it while saying "fuck the rest, I got what I need." But the question is, do you? Life is not so predictable. I find that if I suddenly relished in my current happiness and told my old friends to take a hike, karma would bitchslap me back into place, like it has done many times. Cause the moment life rips that happiness away, or that relationship goes sour, who will I have to turn to? Could I call myself a good person if I stomped on my friends? Could I honestly run back to them and cry?

If I was that type of person, probably not. Eventually people get tired of that. Friends are to be there, to be loved and respected in the good and bad times..not just when they are convenient. They fight for you. They love you and lastly..they cry for you. When you get in a fight with a friend, do you not feel sad because you wish to continue to fight for your friendship? I've done this with some of my closest friends. They know me and my temper, but even in the middle of the fight I break down and admit that I don't want to fight. I love them, and that I don't mean it. Then again, I have a guilty conscious. My friend Spike could admit to this. I will be in the middle of yelling over something stupid but then later, not five minutes later I'm like "...sorry." In which he usually responds, "I know b."

Because at the end of the day, most arguments and tempers and yelling is over something so stupid, so petty it not worth losing your friend over. Especially the type of friends who will throw themselves in harms way for you. Especially for friends who will fight for you. Yet as I watch other people waste their friends away selfishly, only thinking of themselves..it only encourages me to cherish my friends more and to do better. Our friendship is worth it, they are worth it.

Even though I am content and happy now, I know one day I will be sad and distraught. I will be feeling alone, so who will be there to pick me up? My friends of course, because I let them know every chance I get that they are loved and not forgotten. My happiness is their happiness.

Until next time,

- Yu

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